Sorrow

The last two weeks have been incredibly difficult. Two weeks ago tomorrow I got a call that my mom was in the emergency room - so I rushed up there. She was short of breathe and they thought maybe she had walking pneumonia. By the time I got there the doctors said she had congestive heart failure & a heart attack. It wasn't long before I became an expert on lots of medical terms. By Monday, my mom was having open heart surgery and never woke up. At first they had hope that she would wake up so they kept her on life support...but as they days went on the doctor's hope dwindled. By Friday, she was gone. My mom was only 57. She has never smoked a cigarette in her life. She was a water aerobics instructor. All signs pointed to perfect health. But she still died. I have more sadness then I could ever imagine. My mom was my best friend. She raised my brother and I on her own which made us SO incredibly close. I called her at least once a day. There is nothing that I would love more then to call her right now and tell her how upset I am and how much I'm hurting. If I've learned anything over the last two weeks it is to have no regrets. To love the people in your life not just as if it's your last day but theirs too. Never in a million years did I imagine my mom would die so young. I never imagined that a week ago Monday would be the last time I would ever speak to her. But I am proud that the last two things I said to her were a prayer and that I loved her. The other thing I have learned is that the next time I have a friend, family member, etc go through a loss like this or have a loved one in the hospital that I will be there for them cause I have had so many people step up and help me through this time. These last two weeks have been miserable but it is the strength of many prayers, words of encouragement, and love that have gotten me through.