A gazillion posts...and weight update...

I know I'm posting a lot but I had a lot to say all of a sudden. Anyways, I meant to update everyone on Joshua's weight issues...I'm pretty sure I haven't done that yet. ANyways, we went to the doctor last Monday and he FINALLY gained some weight. It wasn't a lot - a couple of ounces...but enough that the doctor "called off the dogs" so to speak. We have to go for another weight check in 6 weeks but hopefully his new diet is doing the trick. Yay!

Two Great Recipes...

We have been blessed by the most amazing people who have continued to care for our family during my mom's death. During that time, we've also had people bring us some absolutely AMAZING food....so I asked for a few of the recipes...and figured I would share with the generosity that so many have shown us.

Rhonda's Eggplant Parmesan

1-2 large eggs (depending on the size of the eggplant)
1 TBS water
1-2 cups Italian seasoned breadcrumbs (depending on size of eggplant)
1 large eggplant, peeled & cut into slices
3–4 TBS olive oil
4 oz. bag grated parmesan cheese
8 oz. bag grated mozzarella cheese
1 jar pasta sauce

Whisk together egg(s) and water until blended. Dip eggplant slices in egg mixture and then dredge in breadcrumbs. Cook eggplant in olive oil in a large skillet over medium high heat 4 min. per side or until tender. Arrange ½ of eggplant in a single layer in a lightly greased baking dish. Sprinkle with some of both cheeses. Repeat layer. Pour pasta sauce over top and bake covered at 375 for 35 minutes. Uncover and sprinkle remaining cheese on top and bake for an additional 10 minutes or until cheese melts.

Michele's BAKED SPAGHETTI

1 CUP CHOPPED ONION
1 CUP CHOPPED GREEN PEPPER
1 TBSP BUTTER
1 (28 OZ) CAN TOMATOES
1 (4 OZ) CAN MUSHROOMS
1 (2 ¼ OZ) CAN OLIVES
2 TSP DRIED OREGANO
1 LB GROUND BEEF (80/20) BROWNED & DRAINED
12-16 OZ SPAGHETTI, COOKED & DRAINED
2 CUPS SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE
1 CAN CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP
¼ CUP WATER
¼ CUP PARMESAN

Saute green pepper and onion in pepper till tender. Add tomatoes, mushrooms, olives and oregano. Add ground beef and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. Place half of the drained spaghetti in a greased 9x13x2-inch baking dish. Top with half the tomato meat sauce. Sprinke with one cup cheddar cheese. Repeat layers. Mix the soup and water till smooth. Pour over the casserole. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

I have had a hard time wanting to write on my blog. I guess I'm having a hard time all around so it would only make sense that blogging would be difficult. The range of emotions that I feel over the loss of my mom is overwhelming. I feel so incredibly sad, but that is also mixed with guilt, loneliness, anger, confusion, and regret. There is little joy that I can find in my situation right now. Joshua & John definitely light up my days. I have little patience or motivation. I feel overwhelmed with all that I have to do to settle my mom's affairs but yet don't know where to start on the next task. I am thankful to the many friends/family who have reached out to support us in many different ways. I'm touched by the TONS of cards that I have received. I actually read through them pretty often and it's so therapeutic. People keep asking me what can they do...and that is such a hard question to answer cause I don't even know which way is up right now. I do know that people also don't necessarily know how to act around me, but I can tell you that I love to talk about my mom. Talking about her might make me cry, but it is helpful too. Bringing her up isn't a bad thing because she is already on my mind constantly. I just miss her SOOOOO terribly much.

Sorrow

The last two weeks have been incredibly difficult. Two weeks ago tomorrow I got a call that my mom was in the emergency room - so I rushed up there. She was short of breathe and they thought maybe she had walking pneumonia. By the time I got there the doctors said she had congestive heart failure & a heart attack. It wasn't long before I became an expert on lots of medical terms. By Monday, my mom was having open heart surgery and never woke up. At first they had hope that she would wake up so they kept her on life support...but as they days went on the doctor's hope dwindled. By Friday, she was gone. My mom was only 57. She has never smoked a cigarette in her life. She was a water aerobics instructor. All signs pointed to perfect health. But she still died. I have more sadness then I could ever imagine. My mom was my best friend. She raised my brother and I on her own which made us SO incredibly close. I called her at least once a day. There is nothing that I would love more then to call her right now and tell her how upset I am and how much I'm hurting. If I've learned anything over the last two weeks it is to have no regrets. To love the people in your life not just as if it's your last day but theirs too. Never in a million years did I imagine my mom would die so young. I never imagined that a week ago Monday would be the last time I would ever speak to her. But I am proud that the last two things I said to her were a prayer and that I loved her. The other thing I have learned is that the next time I have a friend, family member, etc go through a loss like this or have a loved one in the hospital that I will be there for them cause I have had so many people step up and help me through this time. These last two weeks have been miserable but it is the strength of many prayers, words of encouragement, and love that have gotten me through.